Nine years ago today, we lost Phil, my step-dad to cancer. It seems like just yesterday that we found out he was sick. Every year I try and forget about this day and just try and let it pass by like it's any other day. A couple years ago I knew the day was coming up, but just put it to the back of my mind. My Mom had come to visit me at Ferris for parents day and had mentioned that my brother was really upset that day. Silly me asked why. When she reminded me what day it was I instantly lost it. For so many years I've looked forward to the day when I would be okay, and when I realized I had forgotten, I was crushed! How could you possibly forget such a monumental moment in your life? Today I had to put it aside until this evening because I had two job interviews, and the last thing I needed to do was lose it.
I know Phil was in a lot of pain and he honestly is in a better place now but it's hard to believe that I will be getting married in a year and a half and he won't be there. Unfortunately, my father and I don't have the relationship that I wish we had and for a large part of my life, Phil was my father figure. I realized today that I definitely want to have something at my reception to remember him since he can't be there with me.
I am not normally very public about my feelings but I thought it would be good to get it out, so there you have it! Well enough of the sad stuff, I am going to go enjoy the rest of the evening and I hope of the rest of you do the same!
Im sorry Lindsay. I know how it is to lose someone and not have them be at something special. Not a parent though but it is still hard. A suggestion that you could do is put his favorite flower in your bouquet. When my cousin got married, my aunt came up with the idea of sticking a red rose in the middle of her bouquet without her knowing and we handed out red roses to people to give her when they went back and greeted everyone. Red rose was her biological dad's favorite flower and he died when she was real little. You could also play a special song. Just a couple ideas. Plus have his picture there. Hope you are doing better. I still have a hard time sometimes when I remember the day my uncle Darwin passed away. Stay strong.
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